RELIVING THE TRAUMA: TIME FOR INTROSPECTION

News

By Lerato Motlhabi

17/01/2021

In this captivating piece, UNITAID Blog Competition winner Lerato Motlhabi highlights the traumas of sexual violence and victim-blaming. She questions the causes and actions of perpetrators, urging men to introspect. Trigger Warning: Sexual violence, victim-blaming, abuse, toxicity

It has been years and years since I have been blamed for being raped by ubhuti John (Brother John). Apparently, I was too thick and my skirt was too short. Growing up, I was a pretty chubby child, I did not take note of what I was wearing and whether it would be offensive to grown men to an extent that they would want to take advantage of my chubby body.

Majita (men) how do you get an erection over your niece’s body? How are you able to forcefully open her thighs and not feel any guilt? Why are you so cold-hearted that you still have no remorse of the rape and blame it on her little body?

The victim blaming that I have experienced has even made me blame myself. Each and every night when I lay my head on my pillow tears roll down my cheeks. I have constant questions in my mind. I ask myself if being a chubby child is a sin that rape is a fit punishment for. I ask myself if I had not gone out on that fateful day would the abuse still had followed me in my home. I ask myself if being a chubby girl child is a curse that grown men feel entitled to my body.

Ekse majita (hey men) would you appreciate if your body was violated by someone who overpowers you? Would you heal from the experience if you were raped and had no say in the whole encounter?

I can safely say that my life is ruined, ubhuti John (brother John) made me lose myself in the whole process. I now fear being alone with my own father in the room, I now ask a friend to accompany me to the Principal’s office, because he’s a man and I fear men.

How do you still pump on her body while you see tears coming down her cheeks? How do you still get the pleasure when you see her bleeding?

You broke her.

You broke her spirit.

 

If you were affected by the above piece, reach out for help fam:

MESSAGE TO MEN REGARDING GENDER BASED VIOLENCE AND ASSAULT:
Dear men, understand that a woman’s body is not an object. It is not an invitation for you to do whatever you desire with it. RESPECT women. NO means NO, it does not mean you should try harder. Also study the behavior, if a woman seems to be uncomfortable, LEAVE HER ALONE. If you see another man abusing a woman DON’T TURN A BLIND EYE, intervene and help the poor woman, also educate your fellow brothers that what they are doing is WRONG and they should never raise a hand on a woman nor sexually assault women.

How do you think we can involve men more in the GBV and sexual abuse conversation?

comments (12)

or to comment

marthacamila

I always knew my husband was up to something but I no proof of this. He receives strange calls, he protects his phone jealously and would never drop it for any reason. I went online in search of ways I can remotely monitor his conversations. I tried a number of phone monitoring apps but each one of them failed to access his phone. Moreover, I could not physically access his phone which made matters worse. I had already given up and resigned to my fate when I stumbled upon this team of (hacksecrete@gmail . c o m). Call or text him on +1(617) 402-2260 They provided me with a solution that helped me monitor his chats, calls, text messages and a host of other features. What i saw confirmed my suspicions, he is seeing someone else.

sharlet

THE ONLY TRUSTED AND RELIABLE RECOVERY AGENT!!!!!

I invested 32,000 Pounds, and later aggravated to 218,000 Pounds. I requested to place Withdrawal of my funds to be paid to my Bank account. But nothing happened I was subjected to pay more fee until I can get my funds on my account, i got in-touched with MORRIS GRAY here on this platform who had helped a lot of people similar problems concerning crypto, I followed all instructions and he legally got back my withheld funds, I got threatened by the company that if I don’t pay they will get my account frozen, But all thanks to MORRIS GRAY, I highly recommend him to anyone dealing with an unregulated broker company… contact him on his
Gmail- MORRISGRAY830 (at) gmail.com or
WhatsApp +1 607 698 0239.....

or to comment

or to comment

jessica829

Insanity is everyone expecting you not to fall apart when you find out
everything you believed was lies ! I had no other choice than to end the
marriage of 9yrs . I got to know he has been cheating for long because I permit cyberlord582@gmail.com to keep surveillance on him.
Call or text +1 518 468 2985

or to comment

nicole morris

I ordered a job spell on a Friday night and on Monday the place I applied for a job called for me to come by their office. They gave me the job I applied for and made me an offer of more per hour than I have ever made in my life! I am so happy! Government jobs sometimes are a slow process. You somehow managed to speed up that process, and I start in just a few days! DR EMU I will be forever grateful thanks once again. You can call on him for help on his email address emutemple@gmail.com or add him up on his WhatsApp +2347012841542. DR EMU also lent a helping hand to the following } 1. GETTING YOUR EX LOVER BACK. 2. WINNING LOTTERIES. 3. CHILD BEARING. 4. BREAKING OF GENERATION COURSE. 5. GETTING OF JOB. 6. JOB PROMOTION. 7. HERBAL CARE. 8. SPIRITUAL PROTECTION. 9. HERBAL CARE. 10. SPIRITUAL PRAYER. E.T.C.

or to comment

jamesbenson8095

Why struggle with bad credits when you can actually get them fixed within a couple of days with HACK VANISH CREDIT SPECIALIST, a professional hacker who has aided me in various ways, he fixed and increased my FICO credit score to a whopping 786 across all three bureaus, tracked my cheating wife calls, and also gave me access to all her social media accounts. HACK VANISH also specializes in recovering lost cryptocurrencies for victims of binary scams. Reach out to him today for help on WhatsApp: +1(747) 293-8514 or Email: HACKVANISH @ GMAIL. COM

Thank me later.

or to comment

justty2015z

THE SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEMS IS HERE!

DO YOU WANT YOUR EX BACK?
HAVING HEALTH ISSUES?
HAVING FERTILITY PROBLEMS?
NEED FINANCIAL PROSPERITY?
WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS FOR YOU?
EMAIL: (allspiritualspellstemple@gmail.com )
WHATSAPP: +2349130256489

Hi everyone, I'm here to testify about a powerful spell caster (LORD SHAIBU) who helped me get my ex back. I was so depressed and devastated when my Ex left me. It was like my entire world was vanishing into sorrow and pain. I wanted him back so desperately. A friend of mine told me about this powerful spell caster (LORD SHAIBU) who helped her in the past, i was skeptical at first until I came across a post online about this same spell caster (LORD SHAIBU). I contacted him and he promised to get my ex back to me. True to his words, he brought my Ex back. My Ex came back to me and apologized for everything and promised never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I am forever grateful to LORD SHAIBU.
To anyone with marital problems, divorce issues,business problems, or any relationship related issues,
you can contact (LORD SHAIBU) the ultimate spell caster.
Contact him via Email: (allspiritualspellstemple@gmail.com) or directly on
whatsapp +2349130256489

or to comment

sharlet

THE ONLY TRUSTED AND RELIABLE RECOVERY AGENT!!!!!

I invested 32,000 Pounds, and later aggravated to 218,000 Pounds. I requested to place Withdrawal of my funds to be paid to my Bank account. But nothing happened I was subjected to pay more fee until I can get my funds on my account, i got in-touched with MORRIS GRAY here on this platform who had helped a lot of people similar problems concerning crypto, I followed all instructions and he legally got back my withheld funds, I got threatened by the company that if I don’t pay they will get my account frozen, But all thanks to MORRIS GRAY, I highly recommend him to anyone dealing with an unregulated broker company… contact him on his
Gmail- MORRISGRAY830 (at) gmail.com or
WhatsApp +1 607 698 0239.....

or to comment

cindybyrd547

I just got my Ex boyfriend back, My boyfriend left me and i was devastated. The most painful thing is that I was pregnant for him. I wanted him back. I did everything within my reach to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because of the love I had for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to my sister and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back , I had no choice than to try it. I messaged the spell caster called Dr.Excellent, and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay before 28hours. He cast the spell and surprisingly 28 hours later my boyfriend called me. It was so surprising, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened He wanted us to come back together. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy and went to him that was how we started living together happily again.thanks to Dr.Excellent. if you are here and your Lover is turning you down, or your boyfriend moved to another girl, do not cry anymore, contact Dr.Excellent for help now..Here his contact. WhatsApp: +2348084273514 ,Email: Excellentspellcaster@gmail.com

or to comment

martinazachary

I nearly lost my sanity when I realized I had lost my money to crypto-organized fraudsters. I didn't know I would ever be a target of con artists because I have lived my life outright, and the idea of knowing that I had lost what I had labored for to some pretentious individuals will haunt me forever. But then I found a team of Ethical Hackers and everything changed. Joel explained how the process of recovering my money would work, and what we needed to do to get my hard-earned money back, they did an impressive job doing private investigations on those con artists that even my cop friend I had reported the case to marveled at their expertise. And then they did well-recouping funds I had sent to those pranksters severally on different platforms and wallets. The process took a while but the efforts invested in it were worthwhile. The day I confirmed the coins in my wallet felt like I just earned a million bucks. (Cybergenie@cyberservices.com) (WhatsApp +12525120391).

Zachary Martina H..

or to comment

kylieharvey0011

GET RICH WITH BLANK ATM CARD, Whatsapp: +18033921735

I want to testify about Dark Web blank atm cards which can withdraw money from any atm machines around the world. I was very poor before and have no job. I saw so many testimony about how Dark Web Cyber hackers send them the atm blank card and use it to collect money in any atm machine and become rich {DARKWEBONLINEHACKERS@GMAIL.COM} I email them also and they sent me the blank atm card. I have use it to get 500,000 dollars. withdraw the maximum of 5,000 USD daily. Dark Web is giving out the card just to help the poor. Hack and take money directly from any atm machine vault with the use of atm programmed card which runs in automatic mode.

You can also contact them for the service below

* Western Union/MoneyGram Transfer

* Bank Transfer

* PayPal / Skrill Transfer

* Crypto Mining

* CashApp Transfer

* Bitcoin Loans

* Recover Stolen/Missing Crypto/Funds/Assets

Email: darkwebonlinehackers@gmail.com

Text & Call or WhatsApp: +18033921735

or to comment

declanscarlett052

When I first invested with these crypto-currency traders on the Internet, All I could think about at that time was getting my profits and giving my daughters a happy life till they kept asking for more money and the fees were endless while trying to withdraw my investment. That's when I realized that I have been conned. I was recommended to an ethical hacker with expertise in the "Recovery of Bitcoin" . I hired them; their fees were appealing, and their results were more than and their fees were appealing and their results were more than what I expected. I successfully recovered my lost BTC and ETH from these scammers with the help of ( Cybergenie@cyberservices.com ) WA +1-252-512-0391. I highly recommend this Ethical hacker to anyone with ANY Cyber related fraud issue, Phone Hack, or seeking a Private Investigator...

or to comment

cindybyrd547

I'm here to show my gratitude and appreciations to this great man who save my marriage and bring back my husband. I was at the verge of losing my marriage when Dr.Excellent stepped in and rescued me. My husband had filed for divorce after an unending dispute and emotional abuses we both suffered due to misunderstandings. He left the house and refused to come back. I sought for Dr.Excellent knowing I don’t wish to suffer another penury due to divorce cases and losing my man. I complied with his work procedures which was very easy and he worked for me. The love and connection between me and my partner was restored and he came back and got the divorce case canceled. It’s all for a fact that Dr.Excellent is honest and transparent in helping people and you too reading this can get the solution you seek in restoring joy and happiness in your marriage or relationship. contact Dr.Excellent for help now..Here his contact. WhatsApp him at: +2348084273514 ,Email him at: Excellentspellcaster@gmail.com

or to comment