A personal story…
*Samke Makhoba, who played ‘Khensani’ in MTV Shuga: Down South, shared a personal account of her experiences with gender based violence…
Many years ago, I was in a long-distance relationship with someone who was always being posted from one province to another.
He eventually settled in a province almost 4 hours away from mine. I was living in Cape Town at the time. I decided to visit him, check out his new neighbourhood.
I was proud of him. I was going to stay for the week then head back to the Cape. During the week, he went to work and I would hold his fort down, cooking and cleaning out of love and the goodness of my heart; not that I had any obligation to do so. One day he returned home extremely angry. I asked what was the matter but he did not want to talk. I had never seen him this angry and it worried me deeply. I asked him one more time and he exploded. He hit me with one huge swat over my shoulder then walked off. My arm literally turned purple.
I was so confused, shocked and scared. In that moment of confusion, I thought “what did I do wrong?”
I was trying so hard to find an excuse on behalf of my actions against him. I then realised that I was thinking with my heart instead of using common sense. He hit me and it was inexcusable.
Still in shock and not addressing what had happened, I quietly got my bags together and asked him to drop me off at the bus station. He told me to catch a taxi. His answer took me by surprise because I was not familiar with the area. At the time, there were no ubers or taxifys so I had to find my own way. I did not argue, I just left. I think that was the best thing that I could’ve done for myself that day.
Many years later I got a call from him. I did not recognise his voice as I hadn’t spoken to him in years nor did I have his number. He asked me why I was ignoring him for so long, and accused me of not making time for people in my life now that I am on television. I didn’t understand how he reached this conclusion given that he was out of my life for so long, and his statements sounded so disturbing.
It is sickening to think that this man was trying to emotionally manipulate his way back into my life, now that my life has taken a new turn. I realised that this man needed serious help. He apologised for what had happened many years ago and said that he had a bad day at work and took it out on me. I responded by blocking him.
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