I Ain’t Never Did this Before…

“What’s it like? I hear it can be painful the first time?” – Bongi

We could all see the sparks flying between DJ Coalstove and Bongi the moment he called her Miss Berry Cool.

It was only a matter of time before things got heated between the two of them. In episode 3 we see them go from flirting to taking their relationship to the next level. What we loved most is that they talked about it first and only when Bongi felt she was ready did they decide to sleep together.

Having sex for the first time, whether you’re a guy or a girl, can be a nerve-wracking experience.

Knowing when the time is right is something that you both need to agree on. You need to feel comfortable and ready.

Social media, your closest friends and the school playground will have you thinking that everyone’s doing IT! Really??? Is everyone ACTUALLY doing it?! Don’t believe the hype – everyone is definitely NOT doing IT. Some people might be but that’s their decision. Make sure that you DO YOU FAM!

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There’s this whole world of expectation created around people’s first time. It’s funny how the whole universe can be crammed into such an intimate moment that takes place between two people. The pressure to have sex and not be a virgin is immense, as we saw with Q giving Reggie a hard-time for not having sex with Zamo in episode 2; and people feel like they can comment on the most personal of experiences. But that’s exactly what it is: personal.

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Whether you decide to wait before having sex or feel confident that this is what you want, the decision is completely yours.

Our girl Bongi has decided that she’s ready to get physical with Coalstove. So what can she expect from her first time doing the dirty?

THE FIRST TIME

You’re only human, and having sex is the most human of experiences, so you’re bound to be caught up in the nerves and stress that come along with any big moment in your life.

Every song out there can paint sex to be hot, fun and exciting. Whilst this might be true, it’s not always the case when it comes to your first time.

So what can you expect the first time you get down?

Nerves

Yo, there is nothing wrong with being nervous before your first time. Like the first day of school, you are entering a whole new world and facing the unknown can be tough. Just like school though, you need to come prepared. Nerves are understandable, but forgetting to take the right precautions is NOT. You’d take a bag to school wouldn’t you? Well, make sure you bring a condom if you’re thinking of having sex.

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IMPORTANT NOTE: Try to relax! No one expects much from anyone’s first time. If you can take a breath and laugh at the situation, you may find that you enjoy the whole thing a lot more. If you’ve chosen the right person, then the reason they’re having sex with you is because they care for YOU as a person – the sex is just an extension of that, so don’t add any unnecessary pressure by worrying whether it’ll be any ‘good’. Sex is more than just a physical act. It is an emotional bond. As long as you’ve got that down with your partner, the ‘physical’ side will take care of itself.

Excitement

Hey, you’re about to have sex for the first time. You’re allowed to be excited. Try to keep that excitement on lock though, so that you are fully aware of what you’re doing, and can respond to what your partner is and is not comfortable with. Sex is a little bit of give and take, so make sure you’re both on the same page and that your excitement doesn’t distract you from what you and your partner want. We saw Coalstove striking the perfect tone in episode 3:

“I’ll be gentle. We can stop whenever you want”
DJ Coalstove

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Logistics

There are a few things that you should be aware of when it comes to the ins and out of sex. The most important of which is this: do you know how to put a condom on? (girls this applies to you too!) That’s step number one. If you don’t know then don’t worry, it’s not that hard. We GOT you covered. Like our boy J. Cole said: Pull out the condoms real smooth just how I practiced. Ain’t nothing wrong with putting in some work before having sex.

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Number two: positions. Hold up, actually, let’s not get into that one. You and your partner can decide on the day.

WAITING

Fam, if you’re not ready for sex then take a step back and chill. There’s nothing worse than doing something that you’re uncomfortable with. If you are with a partner, then they should respect your decision and understand that everyone goes at their own pace when it comes to sex. If they don’t get it, then maybe they shouldn’t be your partner for much longer.

Like we said before, the pressure to have sex can be huge. Remember this fam: being sure of yourself is the perfect antidote to any haters. As long as you’re being true to yourself, people will respond to your self-assuredness and respect your swag.

Having sex can be amazing when done right. Wearing a condom and doing it with the right person are the key ingredients to this hot mix. Rather than rushing full-steam ahead, make sure your first-time is a good experience. You’ll remember it for the rest of your life…